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Kids laugh an average of 146 times per day/adults only 4 times a day….we need more laughter in our lives!

We would like to provide comic relief for all caregivers out there in the potty training world! Check back frequently, we will add more as we come across them!

We'd love to hear from you as well, please send us your own silly stories or potty jokes. If we choose yours, we'll put your first name, last initial, and your location, so please include them in your email! Send them to: pottyhumor@pottytots.com



Fascinating Facts

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets every year!

The first toilet ever seen on TV in the USA was on Leave it To Beaver!

Green Bay Wisconsin produces the most toilet paper in the world!



Real Stories from Real Moms & Dads

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.  She was stark naked!  As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
Anonymous

When my daughter was about 10 she wanted to learn how to pump gas at the gas station.  When she finished, she was so proud of herself that she threw up her hands and exclaimed. “I got gas!”  No sooner did she say this than she noticed that people were looking at her and she realized it sounded like “I’ve got gas!” and she turned a bright shade of red and quickly got back in the car!
Jill L., Temecula, California

I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before.  After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
Anonymous



Jokes


Absolutely adorable!!!

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THE POTTY

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks that he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while."

Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy, I just haven't gone 'doody' yet."

His mother says, "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."

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What did little William Shakespeare ponder when he was potty training?

"To pee or not to pee...that is the question."

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What do you call a little one who fills his diaper at a birthday celebration?
Party pooper :)

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MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old
she didn't remember any more. Melanie said,

"If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

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While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.  One day I found her for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,

"The tooth fairy will never believe this."

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It was one of those moments at Target when my dear child decided he had to go potty. Off to the public restroom we went. Of course, I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity while it presented itself.

 I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I was a little taken aback, and thought I would teach my darling manners that he should speak when spoken to, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just taking a break while shopping!" 

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. My lesson in manners is quickly turning into a lesson in  why we shouldn't speak to strangers.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 
"No...we're a little busy right now!!!" 

Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back.  There's a very silly person in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."  

Cell phones, don't you just love them?

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Why is pea soup more special than mashed potatoes?

Because anyone can mash potatoes.

Did you hear about Robin Hood's toilet?
He had a "Little John"!

“There are two reasons never to drink toilet water….
Number one and number two!”
--David Brenner

Why did the toilet paper roll down hill?
To get to the bottom!


Where do potties go to college?
P.U. (Potty University) they have an extensive library!

Some crooks broke into the police station and stole all of their toilets.
The police are investigating, but for now they have nothing to go on!


A big bottom and a little bottom were doing their chores.
The big bottom finished and asked the little bottom to go to the park to play.
The little bottom said, “I would love to, but I am a little behind!”


A joke for moms:
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I don’t know, it has never been done!


A funny sign seen at a roadside restaurant and gas station:
“Eat here and get gas!”

“Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!” --Andy Rooney

 
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